u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
