shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
