The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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