i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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