Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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