after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
