Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
