I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
