Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you never un-have a 4some
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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