If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
