Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My orgasm happened in two different decades
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
