Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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