I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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