you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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