i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
