omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
