i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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