I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
