It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he thought i was a dude.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
