I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
That reminds me...we need to get swords
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
