How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
