i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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