how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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