i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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