The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They have beer where we have blood.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
