i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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