Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And then he peed in my hair
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
