i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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