Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
