He is an equal opportunity slut.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
