So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
