Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
