Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
