It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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