Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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