best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
