Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You're like the curious george of whores
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ladies don't puke and tell
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
