My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
