Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
