I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
