I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
