i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
