$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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