Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
