He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
