i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
