good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
