I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
When did angry sex become our thing?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
