Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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