OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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