Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
