So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
