i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
