he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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