I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He did a backflip because drugs
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
