i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
