So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
