and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
