you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
