sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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