Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize