She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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