Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
