Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
