Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
